Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My Daily Struggle

It is a daily struggle to live a healthy life. Over two years ago I made the choice to live a healthy life. Although lap band has been a valuable tool to help me lose weight, it did not help with a healthy lifestyle. Those are made through good food choices, physical activity and refreshing your mind.

I'm here to say that I have fallen off the healthy lifestyle a big way. It has been a very difficult 2 months. With school, work, homework and a mangle of what social life I have...there is very little time for me. Whether you are a believer in God or not, I do believe and have made it a priority to get my life with God back on track over the last few months. It has been an incredible journey and I have learned so much so far about myself and how I view others. But, with all of my time gone missing I have discovered myself making more and more unhealthy choices. I can make about how it is more difficult to eat healthy with a super busy lifestyle...and with the availability of greasy cheeseburgers and carb wrapped chicken at the nearest drive-thru window, who can argue with me? Not to mention the price of healthy produce & groceries vs. fast food discount slop. I can also complain about how cold it is and that doing my exercise of choice, speed walking, is pretty much impossible right now. 

I made the mistake of getting an un-fill a little over a month ago. I was tired on not being able to eat the food I missed and frankly needed a break. But due to that break, I have; for the first time since I got the band; gained weight back. It's normal to fluctuate a little here and there. To gain and lose a pound or so every couple weeks. But how about 10+? I know that I have accomplishment behind me...I have lost almost a whole human being...definitely a whole tween, lol. Right now, I am struggling. I know these are excuses...I know that I am better than this. But, sometimes I need to be reminded why I am doing it.

I don't feel good. Physically, I feel like I'm dragging. My energy is down, my motivation is worse. I am having a tiny pity party for myself on the inside. So, if you are reading this...I need some encouragement...not just to get back on the wagon and start eating healthier and achieving my weight loss goals...but in life. Right now is a struggle. There is so much going on that sometimes my head spins. I am overwhelmed with school and the homework that comes with it, not to mention the perceived lack of time to finish it all. For the first time in my college career, I am working from behind and it's a horrible feeling.

I don't want pity or criticism. I'm not asking you to write a paragraph. But, I will ask that if you are a praying person, please say a prayer for me. Leave an encouraging word. Or, even better...if you see me, I could use a hug, ALWAYS! 

And lastly, thank you for everyone who takes the time to read this. There are people in my life who have been there supporting me through so much and have changed my life in so many ways. If you smiled at this, you know who you are :)