Saturday, December 24, 2011

Oh Christmas Eve!!

I adore this time of year. Everything about it really. Well except one part. The "Dad" baggage. This year has been particularly sharp and I'm not sure why. Year 6 shouldn't be some apocalyptic event but after spending the better chunk of 4hrs crying in my car the other day, it has definitely been a tragic year. I will say that I had 3 really bad days then it lightened. Poor Mom is having a hard year too. Sometimes it's it seems a little schizophrenic...I am such a Christmas literally, get me to a Hobby Lobby this time of year and I'm Buddy the Elf, a total cotton-headed ninnymuggins!! But then December 20th and 23rd roll around and the Christmas cheer ends a little. For me, yesterday wasn't so bad. I got a little bit sad but nothing profound like the 19th. I think I had cried so much after work on the 19th that I was too tired to cry anymore when it was actually the 20th.  Ok, let's move on from this!!!

A wonderful thing came to my realization yesterday. My ultimate goal was to be down 75lbs by January 1st. I knew it was a lofty goal but I was determined. Apparently determination can pay of today I weighed 216.4...that is 76.1lbs from my starting weight of 292.5!!!! Which means that I am slightly ahead of my goal. I cannot believe it...Merry Christmas to me, I've lost a 2nd grader!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!

I mostly came on here to wish everyone a very very Merry Christmas and let you all know how blessed I am for each and every one of my friends and family. I truly love and care for all of you!! Thank you for your continued words and actions of support!

Peace and much love,


Wednesday, December 14, 2011


So...I was driving home after a hectic day at work and I saw a license plate that read: BBWLVR...all I could think was, you go boy!! lol!! But it also made me think about my blog that I've been so lazy about updating!!! I've had quite a few people comment on how I haven't updated in forever, so here goes!!

I had a fill on November 10th and experienced the scariest lap band moment so far!! Karen was able to put over a full cc in my band but decided that would be way too much so she filled me from 6.7 to 7.3...not a huge amount. Then I took several drinks of water...fine. Then a gulp of water...fine, then a big gulp of water...not so fine. It was terrible. I have never felt that uncomfortably stuck before and it was painful. We tried a couple different things and then finally she decided we needed to take some out...all the while I have a cup under my chin in case the water comes up. I layed down, which gives you an odd semi drowning feeling and then she took out .2cc's of fluid...INSTANT RELIEF. It was so odd that taking out .2 little tiny cc's would make such a difference!! The whole ordeal only lasted about 90 seconds but felt like much made me feel almost panicky!!

On a bad note, after a fill it usually takes me a few days - a week to get back in the workout swing because of calorie intake. But this time around I adjusted then I got sick and anyone who has been banded knows that because of fluid changes in your body the band acts funny. So between not feeling like eating much anyway and getting stuck every other bite, I wasn't working out...not for over 3 weeks!! But, good news...this week I was officially back on the wagon in a big way!!!

And come to think of it, I forgot to mention the best part about that last fill. I lost 12lbs in 27 days!! Since then I think I gained 2lbs back so we'll say it's been 10lbs in 34 days!! I was amped, that put my total weight loss at 70lbs!! I can wear shirts (not quite pants since they have always been 2 sizes larger!!) from practically any store. Most XL's fit...what a strange feeling!! What an exciting time in my life...I feel so blessed!! And getting more blessed by the moment!!

On a side note...I am also dating an incredibly sweet guy. Don't wanna say too much because it's a new development but he is wonderful! We'll see how it goes!!

Oh and have I ever mentioned...I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! Here are some pictures from the last month to give a snapshot of my life :)

I Hate Everything funny!!

And that was before the addition of 2 different bags of cough drops, Mucinex liquid and not 1 but 2 boxes of Kleenex!

Yummy Peanut Butter Pumpkins my sister brought to my job on Thanksgiving!

My beautiful and talented friend Jen took this out for girl's night...check her out, she took this with her iPhone, I know, unbelievable, right?

I have the best friend's in the world...

I effin love Christmas. You don't understand, I walk in Hobby Lobby and I turn into Buddy the freakin elf!!!

Hello boots.

Me and Craig...we shall see ;) there was a little iPhone recap!!! Life is amazing and I'm just trying to soak it up!!!

Peace & Love,
   Jordie <3

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Before and now

I wanted to show everyone some before surgery and now photos. This not my best design job but I wanted to throw together something quick!

As always, a big thank you to some of the most supportive people in my journey. You know who you are!!!  Some people have been constantly encouraging and others have given me the kick in the butt when I needed it, both are appreciated and are obviously working, so don't give up on me yet!! I got another 60lbs to lose!!!

Peace and much love,

Thursday, October 20, 2011

My half bandiversary and more!

So, I'm weigh (I'm so punny!) overdue for this but......on October 14th, I was 6 months banded! I can't believe how time has flown and how much I've accomplished! I've lost an average of 10lbs/month since getting my band. What an amazing feeling!!  I've been very dedicated to my diet and exercise which of course has been a huge part of my weight loss. This week I increased my workouts which has felt great!!

I also discovered that maybe I truly am wearing a 14/16 top now! My sister had a sweater that she didn't want anymore, probably too big for her, but I tried it on and it wasn't an "oh, I'll be able to wear this soon" or "maybe it'll work soon," it was, "holy crap, this fits!!" It's just amazing to me that I can fit into it!! The bottoms are going to be the challenge!! I usually refer to my lower stomach as my "toddler." I don't have a baby, it's a full blown toddler!!! lol. Anyway, it is shrinking but the fear of having to do plastic surgery is lingering in my mind. 1. I can't really afford it on my budget, 2. I've never fancied myself as the plastic surgery type.

I've lost 3lbs since my appointment at Malley 7 days ago! I think that my workouts are starting to pay dividends. I had always heard that it takes 5-6 weeks to really start noticing the difference and now I am!!  I think part of it was also the chastising I got at my last appointment. I wanted to know exactly how many calories I should be consuming so she started asking me about my workouts and my diet and was very upset that I was only eating about 1000 cals/day, take out exercise and it was more like 800cals/day. NOT HEALTHY! So, the thinking was that my body was in starvation mode, makes sense. So, I increased my calories and have resumed losing weight, lol. So strange. Also, I really started paying attention to my protein intake. I wasn't getting enough. Now, I start off everyday with a protein shake and I feel great!

I have come so far in the last 6 months, I can't wait to see what the next 6 months has in store!!

Thanks for sticking with me, encouraging me and loving me!!!


Monday, October 10, 2011

This can't be for real.

I will be revealing sensitive information about my clothing sizes. If not interested in my undergarments, please do not read. (That sounded creepy)
************END OF DISCLAIMER************


With God and Meagan as my witness, I went to Lane Bryant on Saturday to buy some new bras. Trust me, this was a need, not a want. I decided that since I was in 42C's that I would try the 38C's. There was a bra that I adored but only in a 38D, so I thought, what the hay...and fits! Not just a little, it fits very well.  It's snug, which I'm obviously not used to since all of my bras in the last few months have been horrible loose. The fact that I can fit into Victoria's Secret sizes is amazing...but not the most exciting thing I discovered. I wanted to see how it looked with clothes on to make sure it wasn't grotesque from the back. So I grabbed my usual 18/20 tshirt and tried it on. Meagan looked at me and said that I needed a 14/16. I was fully prepared for it to be extremely snug and lumpy...but it wasn't. Not only was I wearing a 38D bra, but I was wearing a size 14/16 top!!! I couldn't believe it so I tried on another...AND IT FIT TOO!!!

I think right now the hardest part is the mental road block. The scale has only shown a 7lb weight loss in 4 weeks. Awesome, but not anything to blog about :) but it's how I feel. We call these NSV's, I think I've mentioned these in the past. Non Scale Victories. These have become EXTREMELY important in my life. I can cross my freaking legs. Somthing that a normal person might consider normal or mundane almost makes me cry. I can reach my foot comfortable to paint my toenails. When I do my Sun Salutation in yoga, I can actually touch my toes instead of dangling my fingers above my toes.  The losing sizes is great, but I know that since I've started working out on a regular basis, I'm gaining muscle. Everyone keeps reminding me that muscle weighs more than fat. But, it's still a head game.

And, it seems as though I'm winning :)

Friday, September 30, 2011

The best of times...and the worst of times.

So, this has been the best experience of my life and although I have had such an amazing, relatively seamless experience; there are still those times that make you wonder, "Is this really what I should have done?" The answer to that question is yes, however the last 4 days had really been a challenge. So, here's how the problems started:

As stated previously, I had a .7cc fill 15 days ago. The first 10 days were great, didn't really have any issues, other than the normal "adjusting to a fill" hiccups. But then Sunday night wasn't so lucky. I have been fortunate as far as foods go, I can eat mostly whatever I want. I don't eat bread and I don't miss it. I can't do broccoli by itself, not heartbreaking. I absolutely positively cannot do tortillas but I can do chips and can do chimichangas, the only 2 ways I can enjoy the mexican delight. And bagels, don't get me started, 3 times tried...3 times died...almost! lol. Anywho, on that note, I have had steak. Both homeade and dine out. Never had an issue. I always chew chew chew and cut into small pieces, but with an even tighter band, the chewing gets longer and the pieces get smaller. Information I wish I would have remembered when I was eating Sunday night. Due to my unfortunately too large piece of steak I became stuck. Like, really stuck. So bad that well, I'll spare you the details, but let's just say it was unpleasant and there was much regurgitation!!

I took it easy that night and since I was still hungry I opted for a liquid dinner of coffee! The next day I couldn't eat breakfast. Not shocking. Lots of bandsters cannot do breakfast but do protein shakes or just coffee. For lunch I attempted to eat a salad. Two bites and partial stuck was enough for me not to try anymore at for the afternoon. After intermittently trying liquids and soft and still getting stuck on soft foods, I finally broke down and called Malley on Tuesday. She advised me to do liquids for 48hrs and then try to advance back to regular foods. If this didn't work, I would need to come and get a partial unfill...those words struck fear into my heart. I'd lost 5lbs since my visit and I wasn't tryint to change anything!! Luckily, when I advanced at dinner last night, I was able to eat my 3oz of tilapia and my green beans and some rice! It was wonderful.

The experience sucked but once again reminded me that this is a learning process and I am still trying to figure this thing out!! Thanks for sticking in there with me!!

On a really awesome note, I am officially down 7lbs in 15 days since my last visit!! So encouraging...after a plateau it was nice to lose some again!!!

Thanks for keeping me motivated!!


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Overzealous...then honest.

So, if you remember, I posted awhile back that I had reached my half way point. That was so exciting for me, but also inaccurate. The hospital scale here at work is about -8lbs different than the scale at Malley and since Malley is where my progress is tracked, we'll be going with their measurements.  This seemed like a huge disappointment at first, then I had to take a deep breath and remember that I have come so far! My fill was 10 days ago and my body is adjusting really well to it now.  The scale at Malley the day of fill was 243. As previously mentioned, that was only down 2lbs since I had been previously, blah blah, same as before. Moving on to today, and this is the exciting part. As of this morning, the scale said 230...add the 8lbs to get my Malley total (lol) and I'm 238lbs. Which means that now I'm officially 7lbs from my half way point!! Yahoo!!!

I HAVE to get back on my exercise routine tomorrow. I took off after my fill since for 3-4 days my calorie/protein consumption was drastically reduced. The only problem was that I only worked out 1 days last week...gasp!!! So, there was some missed opportunity but now that my calories and protein are back on track.  The good news is that I really enjoy my workouts, it's just a matter of fitting them in, which I made a priority a couple weeks ago, need to make it a habit!!!

So, the great news is that I feel wonderful, both physically AND emotionally. I feel like my life is in a really good place and I'm ready for the challenges ahead. I can't wait to start up with school, after the disappointment with MCCKC I decided to spend the extra money and get a better education at JCCC. So, once the spring semester rolls around, I will be a student again :) So many things are uncontrollable in life, so much that we have no say in, but everyday we can make a conscious effort to be happy and make little changes in our lives. Sometimes those changes can make a huge difference in someone else's life.  Remember that the next time you wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  And decide to make it a good day instead!

Peace, happiness and much love

Friday, September 16, 2011


So, went for a fill yesterday. Thought I would just break even since my last appointment on August 2nd but I had actually lost 2lbs. That isn't a huge loss, obviously, but it was still something. I also went through increasing my calories by 100cals/day so I think overall, it was a good thing.

This has been the toughest fill so far. The band works on a pressurized system so when they inject the saline they can feel resistance if your band is full. (If you're not familiar with how the band works, there is a silicone pocket which can tighten the band as the fat around your stomach melts away.) She said she was able to put a full cc in but didn't want to fill me too tight so she drew back a little to give me a .7cc fill.  After fills you do liquids for 24hrs then mushy food for 24hrs then back to normal diet. However since this will make 6.7cc in my 10cc band she wants me to really stick to soft foods this weekend to let my body adjust to the fill. 

This has been the most noticeable fill so far, without adding food. I started having left shoulder gas pain intermittently last night. I hadn't had that since surgery, but it makes sense with the tighter restriction.  And, I really didn't want to push it so I couldn't take my IBS medication last night which is making for an upset tummy today...the liquids aren't helping since it's been a ton of coffee and coffee is a diuretic, you get the idea. Anywho, I will be trying some mashed potatoes and soup for lunch and see if I can feel the restriction. Just like with every other fill, the first couple hours after the fill you can feel EVERYTHING going down the band. I was drinking coffee and it sounded like creaking stairs!! But the rest of the day was fine. It was easy sticking with warm liquids since it was so cold last night at the game!

Heading out to the game again tonight, going for 6 wins in a row!! Holla! Let's hope my tummy is on board with this plan, could make for a very interesting night! Fill you in later!

Peace and much love,

Monday, September 12, 2011

11 days and a plateau.

This morning the scale said 235...which means that I have only lost 8lbs since I saw Karen @ Malley on August 2nd. But, that's ok. I can't believe I'm actually saying that, but it's true. I have been kicking my own but for the last 5 months since surgery and my payoff is 57lbs lost! I decided last week that this isn't a contest. This is my life. And I haven't hit a real road block yet. How can I be upset about that? I'm maintaining my current weight which is spectacular since I increased my calorie intake by 100cals/day to make it 1400 cals/day. With my increase in activity plus if I need to cut calories in the future, I decided to do the increase now.

Speaking of exercise...I have been doing my cardio at least 3x/week, last week I did it 4 times!! Yay, I feel incredible!! And I only have to wait until Thursday to get my fill :) can't wait!! So many exciting changes are happening. I'm so excited to get started back with school in the Spring!! And all of my personal/body changes are incredible. This is also a good time to plug my other blog that is 365 Days of Awesome! It has really opened my eyes to all the little things taht make my life so full, blessed and amazing! I love it. Even the mundane can become amazing when you look at it differently! Anyway, that's what's going on in my life...what's going on in yours?

Peace and much love,

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Batwings and Wii are motivated!!

So, as previously posted, I need a fill. I've only lost 4lbs since my last visit with Karen @ Malley on August 2nd. That is semi discouraging but also a great motivator!! I won't have another appointment with Karen until September 15th so what can I do in the meantime to at least maintain my weight? WORKOUT! I know for many people this is an easy task but for me, not so much. But something awesome happened. Yesterday I walked 1.38miles! Not much but enough to get me in shape for my 5k Light the Night and also The Kidney Walk for organ donation. Then something else awesome happened. I was super motivated to get up and do some cardio so I jumped on my Wii fit for 41 minutes and burned 246 calories!! So, I think I've found my fitness routine! Mon, Wed, Fri : cardio/balance/yoga with Wii fit and Tue, Thur: walk at least 1.5 miles! Feels so good.

On another note, I'm getting bat wings...(glamorous shot below) so I will be investing in *heaven forgive me* a shake weight!! I know, I know...but seriously, these babies look like they have sand in them!! I would like to have nice, toned underarms, so....shake weight it is!!!

Disgraceful picture of my saggy batwing!!
Ok, is goes, an added part of my journey. This is gonna be the hardest thing to make into a habit. But I do love the sweat, the pain and the endorphins, just gotta stay motivated!

Sunday, August 28, 2011



I feel like I could eat an elephant, have some ice cream and then eat a moose!!! I'm trying really hard to maintain my caloric goal but this weekend has been a huge challenge!! It's gonna be a hard couple of weeks until my next appointment at Malley!!!

Cross your fingers and wish me luck!!!


Thursday, August 25, 2011

My best friends and worst enemy...

Calories...oh how I hate them!! I am a FREAK about charting all the calories I eat, to the point where it freaks me out to go eat or can't find that particular food in the tracker. I have decided two things...1. One day of going over my calories will not make me gain back all 61lbs that I've lost. 2. Sometimes it's OK to cheat. I also realized that one of the things that could be contributing to my excellent weight loss is the fact that I eat between 1100 and 1300 cals/day...I was looking back on my dietitian notes and she said a good place would be 1600-1700cals, lol. But I am comfortable with the 1300 cals. My body has become accustomed to it and I am enjoying the results. I don't usually feel deprived, but that small time when I do, I feel like a failure...knowing how well I'm doing is helping me get past that, though. I have come so far...I am proud and I love what I have done!! Yay me!!!

Here is a vid update and then some belly pics....look at your own risk!!!

And here are the pics
The Day after surgery 
June 11th, 2 months post surgery
Today, August 25th...4 months post op and down 61lbs!!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Another Chapter...

So, now is the time for life to re-begin! I have been so focused on getting back to normal then on just losing weight and working non-stop that I lost a little bit of my life. Those of you who know me, know that I am a bit of a homebody. I would just as well stay home and watch the Royals play with the fam as I would go out to a club. But, here lately I feel the need to tear up the town!! I haven't been able to do it yet, but it's coming!

I have achieved so much in the last year. Honestly there was a whole day last week when I had constant happy tears in my eyes! Sometimes when I think about it, really stop to think about it, I am in amazement of all that getting LapBand has done for me. Yes, I've lost weight...and 58lbs is an amazing achievement in 4 months but I've gotten so much more. A new lease on life. I have always been a confident person but when you put me in an airplane seat and I feel like a mutant or you try to cram me into a seat at the Sprint Center and I feel like a giant...I don't really feel like that anymore. My sister said she notices more space for herself sitting next to me at a Royals game. I can cross my legs. But my health is restored. I, for once, cannot wait to have my labs drawn to see how much my cholesterol has come down! My BMI has dropped an astounding 10 points. But I feel like I've been so ME focused that I've lost a little bit around the edges.

I've been single for a long while now. Mostly because I needed to be to achieve the things I wanted in life. I knew that I couldn't enter in a relationship before my band because if I felt truly loved I wouldn't have wanted to change. But now I want a deeper commitment. I want something that can last and become something greater than me alone. *sigh* if it were only that easy! I'm sick of browsing websites and texting for love...ready to jump into something with a other half...a best friend...a man, not a little boy! Maybe now I'm coming into that time!

This is an extremely personal post but I needed an outlet, lol. I just want a social life better than what the last year has been! Today is my now...come to think of it, it's your too! Don't forget to go out and live a little!!

I love and thank you all for your support!


oh and sidenote...I'm 3lbs from my halfway point!! Down 58lbs, 64lbs to go!!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Happy Dance...Happy Dance!!

Ok, so totally doing the HAPPY DANCE!!! After my post and 2 weeks of sulking over my slow weight loss, I made a break through! This morning I stepped on the scale, not once but twice (cause I couldn't believe it!) and the number was...{DRUMROLL PLEASE} 236!!!! YAHOO!!!

This puts my total weight loss at 56lbs since April 1st and meets Goal #2 which is lose 50lbs!!! I am also officially 4lbs less than I am listed on my driver's license, it's the little things in life people!!

Ok, so officially starting tomorrow, I am back on the exercise wagon! My bff Meagan and I are venturing into the world of treadmills and exercycles...oh yeah, I said exercycles!!! I know I'm losing without the exercise but I really love the endorphine rush and how it makes me whole mental/physical outlook so much sunnier!!! Plus, I want to do the Warrior Dash next year!!! And run (or maybe jog, lol!) a marathon! These are things that were physically incapable of participating in...can't use that excuse for too much longer!!

Thanks again for all your love and support!!! Especially my Mom, sister and guys have been my sanity the past 2 months!!! Thanks!!

Peace and much love,

Thursday, July 28, 2011

A more unpleasant post...

Ok, so the last few things I have blogged about have all been really awesome things, things that make my band amazing and my journey awesome...but here comes a little dose of reality.

With the band come certain complications. As you are going through the pre-band process you hear about foods you shouldn't eat and things you shouldn't do, but to be truthful, you really have to experience things for yourself. For instance...tons of bandsters can't eat rice...but I can. Lots of bandsters have problems with cheese...I don't. But there are a couple of things I've come across. It took me 2 1/2 months to regurge anything...I know that's gross but I thought it was quite an accomplishment! I'm still learning and with that learning comes some unpleasantries. For example, my band gets tighter at night...I should probably avoid eating past 10pm...but I don't always.  I should ALWAYS make sure I chew thoroughly and slow...BUT I DON'T ALWAYS. Tortillas...oh how I miss are the ONLY food that I have wanted and haven't been able to eat. I've tried you fried, grilled, just don't love me or my band anymore but...small price to pay!! Bottom's a learning curve and I'm starting to really understand my band and how it works and it's limitations in my body.

Dose of reality #2...the weight loss is slowing down...after losing almost 40lbs in 2 months I was really hoping to keep it up...but you can't lose like that forever. Now I've had a 2 week stall that kept me hovering right around the 248 mark which was frustrating. I've started moving the pin on the scale again though and this week I weighed in at 245.4. So hard to believe that I've lost almost 50lbs since April 1st...3 more lbs to goal #2...-50lbs. Then on to the biggest challenge yet...Onederland. If you are unfamiliar with the term it's when you finally drop below the 200lb mark and back into the 1-hundreds. I only have 46lbs to go!!! Woot woot!! 

This has been the best decision of my life. I would never be where I am in my weight loss without the band. So, even with the slower weight loss...I have never once regretted my decision!!

In other awesome news...I am enrolled in school for the fall. My degree has been on hold for a year now and I miss it terribly! I'll finish up all my electives then head back to the Graphic Design program to finish the second half of my AAS! Yay!!

All in all, 2011 has been an awesome year for me and now that my work schedule is chillin a little more, I look forward to enjoying the end of summer and all of my amazing friends and family!!

Peace and love

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Across the pond...

So, I received an amazing package in the mail a couple weeks back and have just now been able to photograph and post all the awesome things that came to me by a dearest friend Lauren from the enchanted Chelmsford, England!

Here is the package in all of it's glory!
Yes, that does say to Jordan (too cool for words) Johnson!

Here was the first thing I noticed when I opened my parcel...what cute packaging!!!
I have heard so much about Lush, as a matter of fact, there is one in the mall I work at but I've never been or tried any Lush this was awesome!
This is apparently a limited edition for the Royal wedding <3! Smells so yummy!
Here is what I originally thought would be in the package, but was pleasantly suprised with all my other goodies!

The one on the right is the one I had wanted...luckily the amazing Libra Moon decided to up the ante and send along some other colorful treasures!!

Last but not least, miss Lauren also included some delightful brochures for my (hopefully) visit over to the UK next year!! And as she put it...MAKEUP PORN!! I <3 Barry M!

This was one of the most amazing packages I've ever received...tied with Tamera!! My besties rock!!!

So, now, my challenge is to find some equally awesome trinkets to send over to her!! Can't wait to ship all of mine off :)

Monday, July 11, 2011


AS OF 11:37pm on 7/11/11 I WEIGH 248.4LBS!!! That means I just passed my very first milestone of getting to the 250lb mark!! I'm so flippin excited! That means I have lost 44lbs since April 1st! Thank you everyone for your amazes me how many people mention the blog to me. At work or through text. I always assumed no one really read it because there weren't alot of followers or comments but I am flabbergasted at the amount of face to face feedback I get. It makes me wonder how many people may be ready this and getting inspiration or advice or maybe even just to know there is someone else out there in the same position, either way...thanks a million! I can't really tell you how loved this whole process has made me feel!!

Ok, so I have been working a crazy non stop schedule and it's killing me but, I will be reducing my hours here soon and will be getting back to some normalcy, because the past couple of weeks have seen the rise of my very first run-ins with my band! More on that later this week!

Peace, love and happiness!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

1 year (and one day's) worth of knowledge!

I was logged on to my page today and realized that it was 366 days since I had started checking into the Lap Band seriously. I had started dieting and exercising regularly in February 2010 in an attempt to earn a healthier lifestyle. I lost 10lbs then plateued very quickly so I began investigating the LapBand. Just now as I wrote that I got all teary, I can't believe that not only am I now banded but I am having amazing success with it. Here's a little smattering of facts about me and my band (Eephus):

July 2nd 2010 - created my profile on
July 17th 2010 - attended a lapband seminar by Malley Surgical and made the decision immediately that it was something I wanted to pursue.
August 10th 2010 - met with the surgeon (Dr. Hitchcock, he did not perform my surgery) and solidified my decision to get my band.
September 2010 - February 2011 - In September I went for my initial health evaluation with my primary care physician. I was put on an 1800 cal diet and followed up every month for weight/vital monitoring. In November 2010, I went for my psychiatric evaluation (how did they let a loon like me get away?!? lol) and then in January 2011 went for a dietary consultation which was so eye opening! I really thought I would have to be 120lbs and never eat ice cream again...I was so wrong. That was one of the most informative appointments I've ever had with a health care professional!
February 28th 2011 - my information was submitted for insurance approval.
March 8th 2011 - that was the day my life started changing! I was approved by insurance and everything moved so quickly from there!
April 1st 2011 - started my pre-op diet. The first couple days were horrible but then my body adjusted and I really just started feeling great!
April 14th 2011 - got my band "Eephus" if you're not familiar, an Eephus pitch in baseball is the slowest pitch that is thrown. Since I love baseball, what better name could I pick to remind me to slow down and take it easy?
May 24th 2011 -  First fill (5cc in 10cc band), when you go for your first fills you go once, again in 2 weeks and again 2 weeks later. After my first fill I lost 8lbs in two weeks. I went back two weeks later and he chose not to fill me due to my 8lb weight loss. Within a few days I felt different as far as chewing went but I was still getting hungry in between meals.
June 21st 2011 - second fill (6cc in 10cc band), this one changed everything! I could tell a difference immediately, especially when I wasn't chewing quite well enough. But I'm eating the appropriate amounts, staying full and losing very well.
July 3rd 2011 - I am sitting here writing my blog. And here are some fun Jordan statistics:

Weight February 2010 - 292
Current Weight - 251

BMI February 2010 - 52
Current BMI: 44
                  -8 points

Pant size February 2010 - 26
Current pant size - 22

Top size February 2010 - 22/24
Current top size - 18/20 (have gone from size 4 to 2 @ Maurice's)

When I'm looking over these stats I'm baffled that it has only been 79 days since surgery! I have averaged a 0.52lb weight loss per day. I just feel incredibly blessed. I have been given an opportunity to change my life and live a long, healthy and prosperous future (there's the tears again!)

Once again, I cannot express enough my gratitude and love for all the support I have received in the last year. I am truly awestruck with the outpouring of love that has pulled me through doubt, the fear and the pain that have come along with my decision. Thank you all. I love you.

I will end this post with my favorite quote of all time:

"Don't ever be someone's slogan because you are poetry."

Thursday, June 30, 2011

The post you've all been wanting...

So, everyone has expressed a desire to see some before and current pictures so now that I am 76 days post band and have lost 38lbs, I will post some pics now:

Before surgery (I looked gross anyway, should have at least put on some makeup!!! lol)

And here is yesterday: (my shirt is really blousy in time will take pics in that exact before outfit!)

I feel incredible and can't wait to keep this journey going! Thanks everyone for tagging along!!!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Lucky fill #2 established, the last appointment I had with my surgeon I didn't get a fill due to an 8lb weight loss. This time around, however, that was not the case. I think I'd only lost 1lb in 2 weeks so it was time for some action. I now have 6cc's in a 10cc band. I can definitely feel a difference this time. I feel a huge difference in the way I have to eat and the amount of food I can take in at a time. It's a good feeling and definitely a relief after the nawing hunger I was feeling in between meals. I was still maintaining my calorie count of 1300, but it was a struggle trying to make it through the afternoons. But, with a tighter band also comes more restriction. Yesterday I got stuck twice. I'm starting to realize the importance of eating with a fork instead of your hands!! I think it's too hard to watch bite size when you are using your hands to eat...this resulted in a minor stuck incident at lunch...not good, but still didn't bring it up. I have been successful every time at just waiting for the food to go down, it's uncomfortable but causes a lot less irritation than bringing it back up. My second stuck incident was also a hand food but I think it was mostly stuck due to soggy crust. I had pizza, the Thin DeLite pizza from Papa Murphy's to be exact. As far as pizza goes, it's a pretty good option. The crust is super thin and crispy...unless you reheat it...and then is sticks...a lot! Waiting for relief from that one was a little more difficult...and I think caused some irritation so I put myself on liquids/super soft solids for the day!

At job #1, we are doing a Biggest Loser contest. Since it started 3 weeks ago, I am down 6lbs. It's nice but I'm hoping for more at my weigh in next week!! Mama wants a new iPod! lol. Today is also the start of working 7 days/week. The goal is to pay off all my credit cards in 6 months. After that it will be time to buckle down and go back to school!!! I'm really excited for that. It's been put on hold for too long!!! The good thing is that at job #2 I will be working some closing shifts so I won't have to be in until 12 or 1...that means I can sleep in...woot woot!!!

On a sad note, I cancelled my 24HR fitness membership. It's much easier to walk with my sister and do my Wii fit than try to go workout after work. I wasn't going. It was a waste of money that could be spent paying off debt!! So, now I just have to buckle down and really start walking my butt off!! That was what I was doing at 24HR anyway. They had me working on the treadmill and, I was not ready to utilize all they had to offer. Somewhere down the road I will want to do some strength training but not quite yet!

Aside from that, I got a haircut and I HATE IT!!!!! I don't know what she was thinking. It wasn't my normal hairstylist (Jill @ Hairspray Cafe...she effin rocks). And now I have no hair left...*sigh*. So now I just have to let it grow and never cut it again, lol. It's been so long since I absolutely hated a haircut that I almost cried!! There's nothing to be done, I hate it so much that I didn't even post pics on FB, lol! But alas, what do I do?

Well, I think that about sums up my last week or two. And hopefully I'll be able to get on here a little more...somewhere in my 70hr work weeks!!!

Peace, love and cupcakes!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

The absentee blogger...

Where the hell have I been??? Well, some of you may know that I am working 2 jobs now. I work full time, 3 days, at the hospital and have been working part time 3 days at Lane Bryant. So, I am one busy girl!! I have been given the opportunity to take a full time management position with Lane Bryant so in a couple weeks I will be working 7 days a week!! If I survive, hopefully I'll be debt free (except student loans) in 6-12months.

Now, for the good stuff. I went for my 2 week post fill followup and had lost 8 POUNDS!!! My surgeon was super impressed and said that people generally lose that in a month! So, needless to say, I didn't get a fill! However, I've been feeling great, still no regurgitation or anything and I'm meeting my calories, mostly, lol! I have noticed that when I work the 7a-7p shift at the hospital I get the munchies at around 5:30...I think it's because that's dinner time when I'm not at the hospital. I think sometimes that I can eat more than I should (volume not calories) which makes me think when I go Tuesday, I should get a fill. Guess we'll see what the fabulous Karen says!!

On that note, I must leave this little blog for the night. Time to get some sleep, wake up and sell some pretty clothes!!!

Peace, love and cupcakes!!


Sunday, May 29, 2011

It's been One Week...

Bravo if you caught the Barenaked Ladies reference. Ok, so this was a week filled with new experiences and lots of work, let's start at the top...

I didn't post this on my last post but I was really stuck for the first time last Friday. I came home from work and my sister had made chicken and noodles (which is a fave) with green beans, yummy. Well, at least until I decided that I wouldn't pay attention to chewing my chicken. I felt it stop, as all banders have and spent the next 15-20minutes just trying to remain calm and sip some liquid to try and get the chicken to move down. A wise woman once told me to try as hard as I can not to bring it back up, (sorry for the graphics,) so I didn't. I calmly just stood in the bathroom and waited for it to pass. And it did, and it was a HUGE relief. Sometimes I think it just serves as a reminder that we have the band. You get used to smaller portions, you get used to not drinking during meals, you get used to eating in a certain order...but once that food passes the lips, it's sometimes hard to remember the obstacles it will have to pass to reach your stomach. That's where you have to really really retrain yourself and the way you eat. So, once again, after 5 weeks (at the time) of being banded I decided to start counting how many times I chew again.

After that excitement, on Tuesday, I went to have my first fill. The really exciting part was seeing Karen's (my NP who I saw in the office pre-op and in the hospital) eyes light up when she saw what the scale read out. She exclaimed, "Oh my goodness Jordan, you have lost 30lbs since the first time I saw you!" And she took my hand. I almost cried. Before the appointment, I was scared of the fill but also extremely apprehensive that she would look at the scale and say: "Really, Jordan, just 18lbs since surgery?" So when that expression crossed her face and her mouth said the word THIRTY out loud, it was like a wonderful dream. I haven't been at this weight since before my Dad died...over 5 years ago. Wow.

Now on to the fill, if you are squeamish about needles, don't read. So, I've heard all these horrible stories about people's ports (see diagram below) being twisted or turned so the doctor's can't access them and so I was a little freaked before the appointment, also, would I feel like someone was tightening a viscrip around my stomach?? First thing she did when we got in the exam room was just talk to me about my diet and how I was feeling (which is amazing, btw!) Then she asked me to lay down and act like I was going to do a sit up so she could feel for my port. It was precisely where I thought it would be...where I had the most pain while I was healing. Then she pulled out a needle...a very large needle. I believe it was 4" in length. She put it in and honestly it was totally painless, it was more uncomfortable when she was pushing on my abdomen to feel my port! So, then I really got freaked. I felt her moving the needle and she had me partially sit up again and nothing...she couldn't hit the port. All those fears of port torsion rushed into my head and I started to get really really frightened. She pulled the xray over and could see the port and viola...she was just over a little too far. She wanted to go get a LONGER needle so after about 1 minute she stuck me again, about 1/2" to the right of the first stick and IMMEDIATELY she got the needle into the port. All my fears faded away and then I just became amused. She hooked on a syringe and pulled all the way back. She said that usually there is some fluid left in the band from when they test it during surgery. To my amazement, there was 3cc of fluid in my 10cc band! She pushed that back in (during which time I could feel my stomach moving, almost like when it's growling) and added an additional 2cc. So I am officially 50% full! Here is a picture of the complete lapband system.

So, for the next 24hrs post fill I was on liquids. I could have any liquids I wanted as long as they weren't too thick, the stomach swells a little after the fills. Then the next day I could advance to soft solids that didn't require chewing. Then on Thursday at lunch, I was back to normal. I don't feel much different than I did before the fill. It's a wee bit tighter but not much which is why they schedule you for 3 biweekly appointments after your first fill. I will have another a week from Tuesday, hoping that I will hit my sweet spot after that appointment! It can take up to 2 weeks for your body to adjust to a fill, so this is all a new experience for me!

Other than that, I am working a ton at my 2 jobs and enjoying it. I get worn out at the end of the day but wouldn't have it any other way! I just need to find time to work out! My 24Hr Fitness membership hasn't gotten much, well any, use. I need an accountablility buddy...any volunteers??? Lol

Well, that's it for now!! Can't wait to update with more weight loss soon!!

Oh and my girl, Tamera is having surgery in 14 days, 41mins and 20 seconds...just fyi!!!

Peace, love and cupcakes,

Sunday, May 22, 2011


This article is great for any Bandster or Bandster to has wonderful tips and an awesome vantage point on the purpose of the lapband.

The Lap-Band is NOT about restriction!

I found it very informative and now I will definitely be paying more attention to portion size and appetite control! It's so important to actually know what we are putting in our mouths!

Peace, love and cupcakes!

Friday, May 13, 2011

A new experience.

So, after I recounted the terrible Steak n Shake event and the flare up that occurred after, I noticed my band felt tighter. I knew this sometimes happens when bandsters get ill. Any type of illness can effect it but especially if you aren't taking in fluids like you should be. Anywho...I called up my surgeon's office and was on liquids for 48hrs then went back to regular food and now I'm all good!!! 

Small NSV (non scale victory) I walked past a long hallway of windows and caught my reflection and could really see the weight loss starting to show. It's minimal, but it's there. I really think what I have lost so far has given me a different kind of confidence. I feel more...empowered. Watch out world, Jordan's on the prowl!! Well, until next time my friends!!
    Peace, love and cupcakes,

Sunday, May 8, 2011

25 days out...

So, here I am. Twenty-four days post-op and down 14lbs. Wait, what was that, you ask? Yes, you read correctly...DOWN 14 LBS IN 24 DAYS. I know that might not seem like alot, I don't know what most people lose at a time but as a chick who hasn't seen below 280 in a few years...the 266 I read last night seemed amazing. Actually so amazing to me that I teared up a bit reading it. The amazing thing is that I don't get my first fill until May 24th. I'm staying full and enjoying my loss so far.

Remember, if you can (I understand either way) I would love to reach $100 on my donations so I can get a t-shirt from the Heart Walk May 21st, please contribute if you can, and the first 1 or 2 people who contribute $25 will also receive a charity match from me. So, donate $25 to my Heart Walk and I will donate $25 for a charity of your choice!!! 

As previously mentioned, I will be joining 24hr Fitness soon so I can get my excercise on!! Can't wait to feel the burn!!! My surgeon said that calorie restriction wasn't necessary at this point but I have been keeping to a 1300 calorie diet nevertheless. And, it's been working great! My overall experience has been amazing...all but one night.

Here I shall recount my dreaded Steak and Shake experience. Dum dum dum..............!

                                      The experience recounted here is
                                       no reflection on my lapband and
                                       is solely dependent on the dumb
                                       assery of the owner of this blog.

Ok, so I went over to hang out with a wonderful friend the other night after work and arrived at her place around 8pmish. Almost as soon as I got there she asked if I would like some dinner and I much appreciatively said yes and proceeded to eat a couple of Healthy Choice snackers. What I did not exactly plan on was the fact that I would stay over there until the wee hours of the morning. Circa 12:30am we decided to go get Steak 'n' Shake, brilliant idea, huh? So, I probably would have been ok if I hadn't; as previously mentioned; decided to be a complete and utter idiot. I ordered the chicken strips and fries with honey mustard. And, while not the most nutritious choice (although probably the best on the menu) it was Friday free day (the day in which I still count calories but I let myself eat some junk) so I though, "what the hay!" I made sure to drink water while I ate so I could keep eating!! What was I thinking??? And then I got a shake for the road...really, Jordan, really?!? Oddly enough I had no problems with the band. I chewed and chewed and chewed, enjoyed it all...ALL! So, I woke up MISERABLE on Friday. It had nothing to do with my band. I had a bad IBS flare up on Friday. I had to take my zofran and drank about 8oz of water the whole day. My stomach just burned and burned. I realized 2 very important things though.

1. I will not abuse my band again just because I can. Never again. It doesn't mean that much. I got no fulfillment from eating that whole meal. I didn't enjoy the food any more just because I consumed all of it. It was a stupid thing to do.

2. My body has become accustomed to the diet that I've been consuming for close to a year now. Leaner meat, more veggies, less grease. And eating that, especially so late at night = misery.

So, while it was a miserable experience that I'm still recovering from, I learned from it and it scared me enough to remember that I not only have a band but I also have IBS that needs to be looked after and taken care of.

So, I know this post was long, if you hung out...thanks!!!
Much love,

P.S. My bestie Cupcake got approval for her surgery so soon we'll be band buddies! Can't wait!!

Friday, April 29, 2011

The time of my life!

Well folks. I've reached a crossroads in my life. I think I'm finally getting to a point where I'm able to see my progress and be proud of where I am. I'm enrolling at 24hr Fitness in a couple weeks when I know everything is fully healed. I will be starting back slowly at school in Fall (probably 1-2 classes) to finish the second half of my degree. I'm about to do a 5 mile walk for an awesome cause and I have the most amazing friends and family on the planet. After that, everything else is all gravy (low fat of course!)
Don't forget if you want to donate to the KC Heart Walk go here:
Any and all donations and or participation are greatly appreciated.

Well, on that note, I'm headed to Omaha for the weekend to watch the Royals minor league team the Storm Chasers play some ball! So excited! Hope everyone has an awesome weeked!!

Peace, love & cupcakes!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

2011 Heart Walk

This year I will be participating in the Kansas City Heart Walk in Theis Park on May 21st. It'll be 4miles to start a new me and hey, to contribute to a good cause! I'm really excited and can't wait to be a part of something huge!

If you want to help me out by donating or if you want to join me in my quest, go to

Make sure you know my name, Jordan Johnson

Thanks in advance for your love and support!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Hello again...

I realized sadly that I hadn't posted in 5 days...well. On Friday, e8 days post-op, I was down 10 lbs since surgery!! Things are excellent in my little spot on the map! I am healing beautifully and am having no post op pain. Even the port pain is most of the time absent, however, when bending or moving certain ways I still feel a twinge of pain. Overall, this experience has been wonderful. Nothing was as bad as I anticipated and I was able to go back to work Sunday and had an ok first day.  I will say, due to my hiatal hernia repair, the first day back at work gave me the WORST left shoulder gas pain that I had since surgery. I had to call the nurse on call who told me it was probably just because I my body was adjusting to the increased activity. It last about 90mins and then didn't come back the rest of the day or day 2 so I think it worked its way out!

Oh and one other thing. I had my first slime/stuck issue. If you are unaware of the term for banders it is when food has not been chewed well enough or is too doughy and plugs up the stoma that the band has created in the stomach. Sliming happens when tou are stuck or plugged and your esophagus is trying to create extra lubrication to get the food down, it's not very pleasant. So here goes, if you don't want to read about my little nasty experience, skip down! For a short second when I got home from work yesterday I forgot I was banded. I walked into the kitchen and took one of my sister's homeade french fries (which are healthy, baked and yummy!) and stuck it in my mouth, chewed maybe 3 times and then swallowed. Oh and I knew immediately!! I drank a couple of slow drinks of water...still stuck. Panic set in. It wa a little painful but the scariest thing was worrying about my band. I kept thinking "oh please don't mess up my band...please don't mess up my band!!" I took another drink of water and felt the need to try to get it up. I went in the bathroom and a little bit of slime came up but that's all. I felt the plug go down and I was fine. Able to eat dinner and made sure I CHEWED about a thousand times. Sorry if that was TMI but I promised that this would be a full disclosure blog!

Well, other than that one issue, things have been great. The really weird thing is that nothing sounds good to drink except water. I tried different flavors of Crystal Light but nothing tastes good right now. But water, sweet blessed cold water!! It tastes amazing right now which I guess is a good thing! I shall post again soon!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

One Week Bandiversary!!

Ok folks, it's official! ONE WEEK BANDED!! Holla!!!

I was also able to do a diet upgrade!!! Here was dinner:

Turkey Sandwich (well I just ate the turkey and pickles;)

Cheesy corn

Baked Beans

It was delicious!!!

Ok and because it was a momentous occasion (like I need one) here is a video commemorating my one week bandiversary!!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Post-op Truths

Ok, so not gonna lie. After I blogged yesterday...I WAS MISERABLE! The worst pain I had was day 3 but yesterday I felt the nastiest. I had to take my Zofran for the first time and had a little scare when I got a low grade fever of 99.5. I was a little freaked out but once I pushed some fluids and rested my temp came down to a lovely and normal 98.5. Thank you body for reminding me that you run me, I don't run you!

So, glad that yuckiness is aside and today has been a much better day. No nausea, got out and walked around...ate a fairly decent lunch of mashed potatoes and just polished off a popsicle. Oh yeah, be jealous!!!

My room needs to be cleaned but most of the stuff is little things on the floor and quite frankly, the port hurts the most when I lean, that'll have to wait. Darn, I hate it when I just can't clean!!

My Royals played some impressive baseball last night!!! Go boys, go boys! What an exciting season so far!! Lovin it!!!

Ok, gonna go do some other fun stuff, which probably won't be anything exciting!!! Once again thanks for all the well guys rock!

  Peace, love and cupcakes,

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Oh sweet port pain!!

I can DEFINITELY feel my access port now. For those of you who are not familiar there is a port that can be accessed via needle to fill the lap band's inside cushions with saline solution. This helps to close the band tighter to create greater weight loss or in turn remove solution to create a larger opening to the stomach. The port is sutured onto the abdominal wall muscle so when you lose weight, you don't lose the port...well, I can definitely feel it now. That's where 95% of my pain is right now...not much else is going on in the life of's a video to prove it!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Flash from the past...

Everyone has asked me in the past year...."So when did you first start having a problem with your weight?" Let me put this into perspective for you. I was born February 5th, 1986...somewhere between there (I was almost 4months preemie) and my 5th birthday it was apparent that I was not a typical gangly skinny kid...I have prepared some photographic evidence...
I'm the fat kid in the front row who can't button her sweater.
So...there you go. I don't blame anyone. I don't look upon my youth with disgust...actually I'm grateful for it. My parents are amazing...I had an amazing Mom who was always encouraging me and an incredible Dad who was constantly telling me I was beautiful. That's the secret to my self esteem. I had amazing people in my life who saw deeper than my fat rolls. 

I have friends who are plus size. And for some of them I just WISH I could bottle up my self esteem and let them use it. It breaks my heart when I realize that they didn't have the same support I did growing up or feel the same way about life. I've NEVER let my size be a barrier. And now, whether it is or isn't a true won't be anymore. My journey begins................