Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Wagon has a broken wheel...

This has been an excessively frustrating couple of months as far as my health journey is concerned. As previously discussed, I needed a break from constantly monitoring what was going in my mouth. Thinking I would still make healthy food choices I got my unfill which seemed perfect at the time...but now I've gained 20lbs. I know, it's a minor setback in a huge achievement but it still makes me feel crappy.

This is when that stigma people have about lapbanders really starts pissing me off. I hear all the time how I made the easy decision and have seen the look in people's eyes when they ask how you lost weight and you tell them you had lapband. You instantly feel the need to justify your decision and explain that it's a tool and a lot more than just eating less. My band is still over half full and I gained weight...not because I ate more but because of what I've been stuffing in my mouth. It just makes it hard because people think you're just taking the easy way out!

**********venting done**********

Ok, now that I got that out of the way...I have started a new blog that will (hopefully) teach me to be a better, more nutritious cook!

I just need to get motivated to workout again. It's getting hot but luckily the walking trail that wraps around my apartment is mostly shaded. I need to buy some pepper spray so I can go in the evening if I want! It's a great little trail with plenty of trees and a little over a mile so I should be worked up to my 3 miles/day challenge in the next couple weeks. I'd like to walk 3 miles/day - 5 days/week, think I can do it? Me too!

Ok, so there it healthy wagon has a broken wheel, but I'm on it, it's just a little bumpy right now! I will take all the motivation and encouragement anyone can spare!! I need to reach my final goal...that would mean losing 30lbs...let's say by Christmas? Deal.

Peace, love and happiness :)


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My Daily Struggle

It is a daily struggle to live a healthy life. Over two years ago I made the choice to live a healthy life. Although lap band has been a valuable tool to help me lose weight, it did not help with a healthy lifestyle. Those are made through good food choices, physical activity and refreshing your mind.

I'm here to say that I have fallen off the healthy lifestyle a big way. It has been a very difficult 2 months. With school, work, homework and a mangle of what social life I have...there is very little time for me. Whether you are a believer in God or not, I do believe and have made it a priority to get my life with God back on track over the last few months. It has been an incredible journey and I have learned so much so far about myself and how I view others. But, with all of my time gone missing I have discovered myself making more and more unhealthy choices. I can make about how it is more difficult to eat healthy with a super busy lifestyle...and with the availability of greasy cheeseburgers and carb wrapped chicken at the nearest drive-thru window, who can argue with me? Not to mention the price of healthy produce & groceries vs. fast food discount slop. I can also complain about how cold it is and that doing my exercise of choice, speed walking, is pretty much impossible right now. 

I made the mistake of getting an un-fill a little over a month ago. I was tired on not being able to eat the food I missed and frankly needed a break. But due to that break, I have; for the first time since I got the band; gained weight back. It's normal to fluctuate a little here and there. To gain and lose a pound or so every couple weeks. But how about 10+? I know that I have accomplishment behind me...I have lost almost a whole human being...definitely a whole tween, lol. Right now, I am struggling. I know these are excuses...I know that I am better than this. But, sometimes I need to be reminded why I am doing it.

I don't feel good. Physically, I feel like I'm dragging. My energy is down, my motivation is worse. I am having a tiny pity party for myself on the inside. So, if you are reading this...I need some encouragement...not just to get back on the wagon and start eating healthier and achieving my weight loss goals...but in life. Right now is a struggle. There is so much going on that sometimes my head spins. I am overwhelmed with school and the homework that comes with it, not to mention the perceived lack of time to finish it all. For the first time in my college career, I am working from behind and it's a horrible feeling.

I don't want pity or criticism. I'm not asking you to write a paragraph. But, I will ask that if you are a praying person, please say a prayer for me. Leave an encouraging word. Or, even better...if you see me, I could use a hug, ALWAYS! 

And lastly, thank you for everyone who takes the time to read this. There are people in my life who have been there supporting me through so much and have changed my life in so many ways. If you smiled at this, you know who you are :)